I'm on holiday

It's pretty much official: I'm leaving Korea on 7th of August. I had an interview today for an internship – if you can call it that; my professor pretty much arranged it so that I can have this placement regardless. But, as it turns out, it was not the kind of work I can or want to do as my required five-month practical internship, so I intend to, regretfully, decline. As much as I'd like to stay in Korea, it's hardly relevant to my degree to work in an art gallery or help set up a multimedia exhibition. (I'm a student of animation, not media.) If the timing or the situation was different, I would do this kind of work just for the experience and for a chance to stay in Korea a bit longer, but I guess I have to do the responsible thing and graduate before I explore my other venues of interest.

I'm... sad, I guess. I try to think that I can come back soon enough, and maybe it will still be possible to find an internship here later, or if not, I will have a decent demoreel and an adequate showcase of work to find a real job here after I graduate. Here's to hoping.

At the same time, I confess, I find giving up a bit of a relief, too. Even though I'm disappointed and sad, it's kind of nice to stop worrying about financing my stay until my first pay check, about changing and extending my visa, and so on. I am not happy, however, about traveling back to Finland (especially since my stupid flights with all the transfers take more than 34 hours), or about the prospect of being back in Finland at least for another year. I'm terrified, still, of getting stuck in Finland. I'm worried about being completely out of touch with my actual field of study, and not looking forward to... a lot of things. But I guess none of it really matters – this was to be just a temporary stay, no matter how I look at it, and I just have to live with it.

I guess I should be grateful there is no Korean boyfriend to leave behind, although that particular sentiment is laced with a degree of bitterness, haha. Particularly since my recent discussion with my old aunt, who was kind enough to remind me that I'm the last one of my cousins who hasn't been able to land a significant other, and that – in her words – it's my turn now. Thank you, I said. If you hadn't reminded me, I'd have forgotten about how I can't seem to get a boyfriend.

Yes. Sarcasm is my only defense against the cold, hard facts of life.

So, after my interview, I walked around Insa-dong and did some souvenir shopping with the last of my money. And then I came home, sat around for a while, and just now, had a cigarette outside. If my time in Korea would be made into a film, that would have been a perfect movie moment:

I'm sitting outside the entrance, smoking my cigarette – a habit I intend to give up as soon as I leave the country. The neighbouring cafe starts playing Frank Sinatra's My Way. Suddenly I'm chuckling and humming along, as my mind plays flashbacks to all the horrible nore-bang (karaoke) renditions of My Way throughout the past year by my best friend Daniel. Camera pans out.

Roll end credits.

No comments: