Frothing at the mouth

Background: Last week, I had a discussion about my thesis with one of the tutoring teachers. As I expected, I was adviced to limit and to simplify my area of research, and I don't really have qualms with that – after all, we should only write 30-60 pages in total.

To be honest, I'm pissed off about the attitude of the tutoring teacher over the thesis. I understand the logic of not making it more than it is, I understand that this school (university of applied sciences) is aimed toward a practical, rather than analytical, approach (which is good), I understand also that he personally doesn't see the point in putting more work ino the thesis than is necessary. But I'm still pissed off by the suggested, if not reguired, approach to the task.

The discouragement to invest myself to a larger (or deeper) scale makes me feel like an idiot. It's possible that I am one. But nevertheless I feel like I'm I'm just left ot my own devices, that I don't get support – which I primarily see the tutoring teacher's job to be. Maybe I'm just too sensitive (again), and he probably does know better and I have no doubt he is genuinely trying to help me. I seem to have trouble applying myself to a reseach that feels like nothing but an academic exercise, rather than a show of what I know and can do – which is what the Finnish word for thesis literally means.

I find it very, very hard to limit myseld to a very cursory glance at something – it's difficult to think of the thesis as something with personal and professional benefit... which, the tutoring teacher seemed to tell me, it isn't even meant to be.

So I asked him: "Then why am I even doing this?"
"Two reasons," he says. "One is that this is something you have to get over with to graduate." The second reason, he told me, is that this is something that can be a good exercise for something similar I may have to do in real life later on. So I wonder – what is the mandatory course labeled "Methods of academic research" for?

The actual research (topic and all) seems to be a mere side-product and damn near meaningless. As long as I produce thirty to sixty pages of academic equivalent of puffed feathers, it doesn't matter what I write about or whether or not I intend to pursue the topic in my professional career. It is, according to the tutoring teacher, nothing but an introduction, an opening chapter. What I do beyond the thesis is up to me, and of no interest to the university. Right.

And thus I'm torn between my own ambitions and the feeling that I'm just wasting my time – I can't possibly produce anything worthwhile, so why even bother? In my head, the project is turning into a glorified essay, rather than a meaningful (if limited) research.

I admit that I'm probably fighting the windmills again. It's not even the teacher's, nor the university's fault that the thesis is defined as what it is, so I can't even be properly angry. I'm not even convinced I'm right. This all just feels very pointless, and I feel kind of alone here.

***

Thesis: opinnäytetyö: opin-näyte-työ, lit. work that shows (what one has) learned.

As my university (of applied sciences), or what used to be called a polytechnic, requires such a work prior to graduation; since the university is an institute focused on the practical approach to the work – why even make it a research task? Why not just allow for a practical show of learning: I'll make a related animated film anyway – why do I have to pretend that it's based on an in-depth research? Couldn't it just be an animated film with a 10-20 page progress and learning report? Why do I even bother with anything else?

I have a law-studying friend in a Swedish university, who is also working on his thesis. Required lenght – 20-30 pages.

Something seems out of balance here.